I’m a writer who writes. I was a repressed writer for a long time. Self-repressed of course, and don’t you know that is the worst kind of repression? Sometimes I write like I am from Minnesota. I’m not. I’m from California, born and raised, which since my rejection from UCR, I realize is not very diverse or exciting.
Let me share some back story, so that you can get an idea of what a long road it has been up to the point of “I regret to inform you…”
I was born. Just kidding. I mean, I WAS born, but for the purposes of this blog post, I won’t be going back quite that far. I graduated high school in 1999 and moved to Lexington, KY, a place where being from California actually does make me interesting and exciting.
I fought with myself and my dad about being an English major and after hemming and hawing on my part, I finally just switched majors to English and Philosophy. After five years of deplorable academic performance, my dad was through paying for school even though I was nearly done, and I moved back to CA where I was once again boring.
Then I met a guy, I got married, I had a kid, I went to school to be a massage therapist. I put writing on the back burner. Then I got divorced and became a single mom. I moved in with my mom and went back to school. I can’t put enough emphasis on this point: I went back to school in order to complete the degree requirements for both BAs so that I could get into an MFA program. It has taken me the last three years jumping through hoops, taking out student loans, taking classes online, taking classes at CSUSB while working and taking care of my son to finish up these last 18 or so credits.
I did all of this for the MFA. I applied at UCR, knowing that my writing is good even though my history is not, and relying on CSUSB as my fall back. I was not admitted into the MFA program at UCR, and the same day that I received the news, I applied to CSUSB. A week later, I got a call from the office of Graduate Admissions to inform me that the program had closed. She asked me if I wanted my application fee refunded. I said no.
Balance has always been an issue in my life. Now I am trying to find the balance between what I know I need to do for myself and my son financially, and what I need to do for myself practically. How do I work enough to pay the bills and still have time to write? How do a pursue a career that doesn’t completely derail my dream?
After reading the bios of the current graduate students at UCR, I felt very uninteresting and unaccomplished. But I have a story (or two or three) worth telling, and I am going to tell it (them).
That’s my deal.